Jingle: Looksmaxing

by on July 10, 2024 at 1:12 am
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Jingle is on a date or something with Darek. Derek is wearing dumber sunglasses than usual. Derek: We need to talk, babe. Derek: I’ve been working on being more hot, and I think it’s only fair that you should have to work on your appearance too. Jingle: What?? You said I was a six! And that you have really high standards, so your idea of a six is actually really good! - Derek: You are. But you’ve been stagnating while I’ve been looksmaxing. I’m now a seven, and I should be dating a seven. That seven could be you. Derek: I suggest a hair degreaser, or whatever the name is for the women’s product that degreases hair. Jingle: Shampoo? Derek: Perhaps. - In a series of small circular panels we see Jingle fuming and Derek looking obliviously pleased with himself. - Jingle: What makes you so much hotter than before? You don’t look any different to me! Derek: Oh contraire. Derek: My old sunglasses were shaped like “prey eyes.” I’ve replaced them with these ones that are shaped like “hunter eyes.” Jingle: Fine. I’ll get new sunglasses too. We’re even. - Derek: I’m also wearing this shirt with a capital T on it. This creates the illusion of broader shoulders. Jingle: Is that all it takes to go from a six to a seven? Derek: Plus I’ve been doing “mewing” exercises to strengthen my jaw. And getting results. Jingle: No you haven’t! You look the same! Your jaw looks exactly the same! - Derek: Oh yeah? Derek picks up the whole table they’re sitting at Derek takes a big bite out of the table Derek looks at Jingle smugly.

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